Sacrifice and Joy

Much of our lives involve a complex dance around a shape of distinction, balancing between two or more extremes, always with the goal of living holistic and healthy lives. I'd argue that this dance happens only if we are aware of this tension as we will naturally drift toward the extremes.

The most important of these I believe is the tension between our call to sacrifice and our selfishness. This plays out in many forms, a common one being marriage. As a man, I am called to love my wife as Christ loves the Church, sacrificially, putting her interests, her health, her life above my own. Sounds pretty good. Hard, but I can see where this is going. But wait. These things aren't done in a vacuum. Am I not doing this to get something out of it? Sex perhaps, or maybe fulfillment, joy, or life lived with another, to know and be known, or having a partner who encourages and stands with you through good times and bad? Yes, there certainly are aspects of this thing that appeal directly to the self. And it's NOT bad. In fact, I think it is necessary.



What we do is defined by our motives, but herein lies the trick. Our motives are never "pure," or maybe a better way to put it is extreme. Well, that's not entirely true. There are plenty of examples of people doing things purely for selfish reasons, i.e. money or power. But if we hold that we are called to die to self than is the opposite extreme a worthy goal to reach for? It was defined to me yesterday that there is a difference between selfishness and self-interest. Self interest is something we should never lose. To do so would be to hate ourselves; descending into places of depression and suicide. An example: to fast is a good thing, to starve oneself until you die is entirely different, even if done for a good cause.

There is a very interesting verse in Hebrews that says "For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, suffered the shame, and is sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Well, wasn't Jesus purely sacrificing himself for us? What is this joy? Doesn't that make him selfish in that he did this whole thing so that he could have joy? And there's that line, that tension, pulling in opposite directions and seemingly refusing to be compromised. But should we even try?

I think yes.